Follow-up: the Bitch surrendered!

That’s right. Bitch couldn’t stand her ground when she realized I wasn’t fucking around.

Die, Goliath, die!

The French Administration had gathered for war against Yu-Ting, refusing to grant Yu-Ting access to her official papers, although they had been ready for about eight months. The fucktards at the real estate company in charge of Yu-Ting and Antoimn’s previous residency had joined forces with the French Administration. The two armies faced each other, camped for battle on opposite sides of a steep valley.

A French administration clerk measuring over nine feet tall and wearing full armor came out each day for forty days, mocking and teasing Antoimn and Yu-Ting about Yu-Ting’s papers. Her name was an anagram of Evil (I’m not shitting you). Antoimn and Yu-Ting, and the whole army were tired of having to deal with morons like Evil.

Also bullying Yu-Ting and Antoimn was frustrated, yellow-bellied manager of a franchise of the real estate company named after a period of time straddling from 2001 to 2100, based somewhere in the armpit of France: the Parisian suburbs. The Bitch plainly refused to pay them the gold she owed them.

One day Antoimn and Yu-Ting thought they were going to just fucking fly out of the shithole France had turned out to be. Antoimn was like “Fuck it, the worst that can happen to my wife if she’s caught without papers is to be flown back to her country, which is exactly what we plan to do anyway.”

While thinking these happy thoughts, it occurred to Yu-Ting that maybe without her papers she might not make it through the toll booths at the airport. So Antoimn picked up the phone again and tried to kick the anthill in the balls to see if anything would come his way.

So Antoimn had volunteered to fight Evil and the real estate Bitch. It took some persuasion, but eventually everyone agreed to let Antoimn fight against the giants. Dressed in his simple but still badass tunic, carrying his shepherd’s iPhone, wits and a head full of convictions about Good and Honesty prevailing in the end, Antoimn approached foul-smelling, decaying Evil and the Bitch. The giants cursed at him, going “Dude, I’m, like, the fucking French Administration. You’re just, like, a citizen; and your wife is not even French” and “Yeah, sure, I’m just gonna send a check over to you, so basically, shut up now”.

Antoimn said to the Philistines, “You come against me with hate and foul intentions and the mouth of a half-assed snake, but I come against you in the name of Truth Almighty, the God of the armies of Good and Honesty, whom you have defied… today I will give the carcasses of the French Administration and of Millenia 210 to the birds of the air… and the whole world will look when my wife and I, papers in hands, money in our pocket, fly the fuck out of here… it is not by hate or resentment that the Truth saves; for the battle is Hers, and She will give you a spanking and hand over your ass in the end.”

As Evil and the Bitch moved in for the kill, Antoimn reached into his mind and slung two of his witty arrows at the beasts’ heads.

Will Evil surrender? Will the Bitch be slain?

I’ll keep you posted when the story unfolds. Or you could read the news. You know, some official building might suffer a micro-earthquake or some kind of localized catastrophe.